MWT 8:  Coming Back Is Never Quite The Same
by Billie Marie
Summary: In this eigth fan fic of the MWT series, our heroes return from their fifteen day vacations.  What did they do on their vacations and what will happen to them when they come back?
1. Intro

**Title: **

**Mystery Wrestling Theater 2007: **

**Misting #8: Coming Back Is Never Quite The Same**

**Rated: Suitable for mature teens and older **

**Summary: The 8th fan fic in the Mystery Wrestling Theater 2007 series. Our heroes come back to the SOD after a 15 day vacation. How did they spend it and what will their return be like? **

**Thanks to those who have read my fan fics. I really appreciate all the feedback. I just want everyone to know that I've planned out the next four fan fics. (I just pray that I don't run out of ideas after that). The planning's the quick and easy part; it's the writing that takes a while.**

**Recap: In the last fic, Vince allowed our heroes to spend some time at home, so they could deal with the deaths of their friends and colleagues. Also, so our heroes could spend some time with their families.**

**Characters: Shawn Michaels, Cameron Michaels, Cheyenne Michaels, Rebecca Michaels, Bret Hart, Sean Waltman, Triple H, Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon, Marie, and Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Eugene, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, and Umaga. **

**Time in this fic: (in case you're not sure) The Earth date is July 11****th**

**Yeah, the next part is basically the same as usual.**

**Sources: I do not own any of the wrestlers or Vince or his children. I don't own the characters or the concept from Mystery Science Theater. The only original character in the series is Marie, Vince's hired writer and finder of awful spams and fan fics. Occasionally, one of Marie's friends writes the fan fics.**

**I also am not the person who came up with the concept of mixing wrestling and Mystery Science Theater. My inspiration is Amanda Stevens who came up with the wonderful cast of misters that I am currently using. **

**Format: Chapter 1 is in narrative form. There's dialogue with quotation marks and thoughts spoken in a character's mind are surrounded by single quotations. Other chapters are done in script form. Actions will be in (). The name of the character talking will be bold. Parts from posts will be in italics.**

**Enjoy!**


	2. Ch 1: The Michaels

Time: It's July 11th on Earth.

Place: The living room of Shawn's home in San Antonio.

Shawn was lying on his back in the middle of the living room floor seemingly out of breath. He'd spent a lot of energy in the last fifteen minutes or so. Although tired, he didn't mind one bit.

He was tired because his unrelenting seven-year old son, Cameron, had done quite a number on him.

The day had started out a lot less strenuously. Shawn had kept Cameron home from school, being that it was his last day home, in order to spend as much time as possible with both of his children. After everyone had slept till nine, they'd gone out to breakfast. Shawn was extremely pleased when customers and staff came up to comment on how polite and well behaved his children were.

'At least, somehow in all this craziness, they're being raised well,' Shawn thought.

Then, Shawn had taken his kids to the park. He'd placed his almost three-year old daughter in a baby swing. Her constant giggles and pleas to go 'higha' warmed his heart. He'd also tossed a ball around with Cameron.

At 11:30, they headed home. Shawn fixed lunch and then the three of them sat on the living room couch.

When Shawn asked his son what the seven-year old wanted to watch, Cameron, who sat right next to his father, said that he'd wanted to watch an old film of his dad in action. However, Shawn, who at the time was also holding Cheyenne in his lap, didn't really feel like watching wrestling. The whole incident in which Vince had cloned him without his knowledge still affected HBK.

Shawn had suggested to his son that they watch something more relaxing. Shawn didn't want to come out and say that he didn't want to watch wrestling because Cameron would be devastated. Their love of wrestling had always been a thing that brought them together.

That love was still in Cameron's eyes because soon after Shawn had made his suggestion, his son began to bug him.

"I don't wanna watch somethin' more relaxin'. I wanna watch you daddy."

Shawn couldn't help smile even though his son was beginning to whine. For his son had started to pick up a Texas drawl in his voice.

Despite letting a smile show, Shawn did his best to be stern with his son, "Cam, let's find something else to watch." Anything else, he thought, but did not say.

"But…why?" his son wondered. He stared at his father with huge eyes waiting for an answer.

Shawn thought of an answer. Seeing that Cheyenne's head was now leaning on his chest, he looked back to Cameron and said, "Because your sister is starting to fall asleep. Wrestling is too loud."

"I'll keep the tv low," countered Cameron.

Shawn struggled to respond to that. He thought to himself, 'Come on, you match wits with Bret Hart. Surely you can match wits with a seven-year old.'

"Then, you won't be able to hear the announcers calling the match," said Shawn. Sadly, that was the best he could do.

"I don't need to hear the announcers. I can make my own calls," said his son, besting his father.

'He probably could,' thought Shawn, who was more than a little proud by that.

Proud or not, Shawn didn't want to watch wrestling and said to his son, "I don't want you disturbing your sister."

"I'll be quiet," said Cameron pleading. He didn't understand Shawn. His father loved wrestling.

Then again, things had been really weird at home lately, Cameron thought. First, back in January, his mom had taken him and his sister to Grandma's. When they'd come home, his mom said that his father was going to be busy with work for a while, and unable to come home. Cameron didn't like how his mother had said the word 'busy'.

His mother had allowed Cameron to watch wrestling as usual, but had started saying things like, "That's the only way you'll see your father."

Surprisingly, Cameron had seen both his parents on tv. That was in May at Judgment Day when his father was wrestling Randy Orton. His father had appeared to get really hurt, so hurt that his mother - who'd left him and his sister home with a babysitter to go to the show - had to help him onto a stretcher. Cameron didn't think his father was really hurt because Shawn had said that serious injuries didn't happen often. Shawn's son had also come to think that when his father appeared to get hurt that that meant his dad would come home.

However, his dad didn't come home with his mom. Instead, his mother said that his dad was staying at Uncle Hunter's for a little while. Since January, Cameron had not gotten to talk to his dad.

Even weirder was that when his mother finally said that his dad was coming home, she went to Grandma's…and since being home, his father had been doing everything with his children. Cameron didn't mind the extra attention, but it was weird that his father checked on him so much at night, even coming into his son's room almost every hour or so.

Now, his father didn't want to watch wresting. Could things get any weirder?

As his son's mind tried to make sense of his parent's odd behavior, Shawn tried to figure out what to do with his son. Suddenly, his mind started drifting and he began reflecting on the past fifteen days.

When Shawn first got home, he'd wanted to spend every minute he could with his children. Cameron had been excited about that, and aside from leaving his father's side to go to school, had clung to his father for the first few days that Shawn was home. After about four days of that though, Cameron wanted to spend time after school with his friends, which included the next door neighbor's eight-year old son and the neighbor's dog. Shawn had told Cameron that the boy could not go out with his friends. After about two days of this, and Cameron's constant questions about why he couldn't go out – Shawn's son even started to think that he was grounded – Shawn realized that he was confusing the hell out of his son. Cameron was able to go to the neighbor's house, and the neighbor's son was able to come to the Michaels' home. This was only allowed with the understanding that one, Cameron had to ask for permission; two, Shawn had to be able to communicate with the neighbors; and three, Cameron had to be home for dinner and stay in afterwards.

Cameron's time away from Shawn turned out to be a positive thing because for the first few days that Shawn was home, his daughter shied away from him. With a breaking heart, Shawn realized that Cheyenne barely recognized her father. Once Shawn had done a thorough inspection of his home, he understood why. Rebecca had removed every picture of him from the house.

She'd even removed Shawn's pictures from the family photo album. Likewise, the wedding album was gone too. One day, Cameron had come in from playing outside to find his father thumbing through the family album. Shawn had even asked his son where all of Shawn's pictures were. Cameron explained that, according to his mother, Rebecca had taken the framed pictures to the framer's shop to get redone. She didn't like the frames. As for the family photo album, Rebecca had told Cameron that she'd taken out the pictures in order to start creating a scrap book all about Shawn. Cameron was thrilled at the thought of having a scrapbook of just his dad, so that the boy could flip through it and see his dad whenever he wanted. Shawn silently promised his son that he would one day receive such a book.

The day he and his son had the conversation about the pictures was the day that Shawn started to hate his wife. He hated her for her lies, and most of all, for attempting to wipe away his daughter's memory of him. Shawn thanked God that Cameron was too old to forget his dad. However, Shawn thought, Cameron was the right age to begin disliking his father for not being home enough. Shawn would have to try hard to keep contact with his children when he went back on board the SOD. Maybe Sean, with his computer and machinery hobbies, could help him.

'At least my relationship with my daughter is repaired,' thought Shawn. Shawn thought back to the four days that it took to bond with Cheyenne. He'd never felt like such a kid as he did when he was drawing, doing finger paints with her, and helping her brush her favorite doll's hair. It had all been worth it too, as on the fifth night at bedtime, his daughter had said, "Guh nigh daddy." Needless to say, Shawn's heart had melted…

And now, as it was July 11th, his heart was hurting again. He didn't want to leave and miss them growing up. They'd already grown up so much in just the six months he'd been gone. He felt like nothing that he'd done in the last fifteen days had been enough.

To top it off, Shawn was denying his son the joy of watching his daddy work.

"Please daddy," Cameron said a second time. His father's mind seemed to be elsewhere because Shawn had ignored Cameron the first time he'd said please.

Shawn's attention refocused onto his son. By this time, Cheyenne was rubbing her head on his chest, no doubt getting comfortable before falling asleep.

"All right," replied Shawn, "You choose the match, while I put your sister down for her nap."

Shawn headed out of the living room to go to Cheyenne's room. Just before exiting the living room, he saw his son happily going to the Michael's video and DVD wrestling collection. Shawn was surprised Rebecca even kept the collection.

When Shawn returned from Cheyenne's bedroom, he sat back on the couch. His son, who'd already placed the DVD he wanted inside the DVD player - hell the kid knew how to work the machine better than Shawn did - sat back on the couch next to his dad. The controller, which Cameron also knew how to use better than Shawn, was in his hand.

"So, what are we watching?" asked Shawn. He silently hoped that his son's choice did not include: his casket or hell in a cell matches with The Undertaker (those brought back memories of his almost career ending back injury), his Wrestlemania 20 match with Triple H and Benoit (Benoit's incident upset him too much), his Wrestlemania 22 match with Vince, or his matches (or rather his clone's matches) from any of the recent pay per views.

"Your match with Bret Hart," Cameron answered.

Shawn couldn't quite hide his worried face or voice from his son, "Which one?"

"The one at Wrestlemania 12," said Cameron.

Relieved that it was not the infamous Survivor Series match, Shawn said, "Why that match?" He was curious as to why his son wanted to see him wrestle Bret. It wasn't like his son didn't know about his dislike for the Hitman. 'Former dislike,' Shawn reminded himself.

"Because I like you entrance and you win the title," Cameron cheerily answered.

"I like those things too," said Shawn smiling. He'd have to tell Bret about this.

Cameron started the DVD – the Wrestlemania 12 DVD from the Anthology set – and selected the Ironman match.

Watching the match actually put Shawn in a better mood. Watching himself counter and outmaneuver the Hitman took his mind off his problems temporarily.

Both Shawn and his son were absorbed in the old match. His son was more active, as he was jumping up and down during the match's most exciting parts – like when Shawn dove from the top ring rope onto Bret who was standing outside the ring.

Towards the end of the match, when the younger HBK first applied sweet chin music to the Hitman's jaw, Cameron stood straight up on the couch. Cameron knew what was next. At the point when HBK applied the second sweet chin music, Shawn (the present day one) saw something out of the corner of his eye…the bottom of Cameron's Spiderman sock enclosed foot. The foot made light contact with Shawn's jaw.

Shawn realized that his own signature move had been applied on him by his own son. On cue, Shawn fell to his right. First hitting his head on the couch's armrest, Shawn continued to react to the move by rolling off the couch. Shawn ended up on the floor between the couch and the coffee table.

Cameron climbed off the couch and stood on his father's chest. Then, the seven-year old laid himself across his father's chest, covering his father, who pretended to be out.

Cameron counted, "One…two…three…"

"Ugh, you got me," said Shawn weakly. "Ladies and gentlemen, your new champion, the Little Heartbreak Kid Cameron Michaels."

"I'm not little," Cameron protested excitedly, "I'm big like you daddy. I'm gonna be just like you one day."

Shawn thought, 'I hope you get the chance.' Out loud, he said, "I'm sure you will be."

"Bet I can beat you again," said Cameron.

Shawn moved his son off of him. He got into a sitting position, and started moving backwards with his hands across the floor. He stopped when he'd gotten to a more open area of the floor. He had made space for himself and his son…before one of them cracked themselves on the coffee table.

Instead of letting his son know that what he was doing was out of concern for safety, Shawn said, "Oh no, Heartbreak Kid, I want nothing more to do with you. Please, spare me." He changed to a kneeling position, but continued to pretend to act for mercy.

Cameron did not grant his father mercy. He granted Shawn with a running spear – one that in Shawn's mind Edge would have been jealous of – that made contact with his father's chest. Shawn went down for another three-count.

And that's how Shawn had gotten into his current position on the living room floor.

Cameron was right back on him too. This time his son dropped three elbows on Shawn – not flying elbows, for which Shawn was thankful.

When Cameron went for his third pin fall, instead of just letting his son beat him, Shawn decided to play dirty. Cameron laid across his father and counted, "One…two…"

Shawn reached up and tickled his son. Cameron immediately broke into a fit of giggles and got off his father, breaking up the pinning attempt.

"That's cheatin' daddy," Cameron said through his laughter.

Shawn had gotten back to his knees, "Just using my opponent's weakness to his advantage." His son was terribly ticklish.

Unfortunately, so was Shawn, which when Cameron ran back into his father, the kid used to his advantage. What had started as a one-sided wrestling match had turned into a tickling war, with each opponent giving and taking punishment.

The end of it all came when Cameron jumped onto Shawn's chest, tickling his father relentlessly. Shawn went down on his back and Cameron continued tickling.

"You win! You win!" cried Shawn.

Cameron got up and stood on the ground. Shawn thought it was over, but no, his son suddenly splashed him and pinned him. "One…two…three," shouted Cameron.

Shawn replied weakly, "Your winner and still champion…" Shawn moved Cameron off, kneeled next to him, and raised his son's arm. "The Heartbreak Kid Cameron Michaels." Shawn then wrapped his son up into a huge hug.

"I love you daddy," said Cameron.

"I love you too." Shawn continued to hold his son. He didn't want to let go.

A sound from outside made both father and son let go. It was the sound of car pulling up into the rock filled driveway of the Michaels' home.

Cameron walked away from his father. He went to the living room window that looked out to the driveway. To look out, the seven-year old had to push himself up on the window sill with his arms. His feet dangled a few inches off the floor.

"Mommy's home," said Cameron. Shawn thought he could hear sadness in the boy's voice.

Shawn supposed he was only imagining things. He was sad. Sad and angry. 'It's too soon, damn it. I'm not ready.'

But Shawn had no choice. He went to Cameron. He looked out the window and saw that Rebecca was out of the car removing bags from the back seat.

Shawn acted quickly. He picked Cameron up and placed him back on the floor. The boy turned to face his father. Going to one knee, Shawn said, "Cameron, I want you to go upstairs, and clean your room. You left a few toys and games out, and you know how your mom is about things being out of place." His son stared at him with sad eyes. Seven-year old eyes should never be that sad, Shawn thought. "Please."

Cameron answered after a moment, "Okay daddy." Cameron hugged his father once more. It took Shawn a moment to hug back and when he did, Cameron thought that his father might start crying.

Shawn's heart was breaking, but he let go of his son. Cameron slowly headed for the stairs, which he even more slowly started climbing...just as the front door handle started to turn.

"Go on Cameron," said Shawn more urgently, for he wanted his son upstairs before Rebecca came in. Cameron ran upstairs as quickly as he could.

The front door opened and closed. Rebecca walked through the hall and into the living room where Shawn stood. She placed her bags down and eyed her husband. Then, she looked around the room.

"Where are the kids?" she finally asked.

"Upstairs. Cheyenne's napping and Cameron's cleaning his room," answered Shawn.

"Good. That makes things easier."

"Makes what easier?" asked Shawn. Before Rebecca could answer, Shawn heard a heavier vehicle pull up in the driveway. He waited for the sound to cease. Then, he looked out the window. There was a black van beside Rebecca's car.

"Right on time," said Rebecca.

"Vince's goons have come to take me away, is that it." Shawn was still looking out the window. So far no one had gotten out of the van.

"To take you back."

"I was back," said Shawn, turning angrily to face his wife, "I was back where I belonged. This is where I should be."

"Not anymore," replied Rebecca. "You should know that I didn't want you here these past fifteen days. But Vince paid me to let you come home. He paid me well."

"I'm sure he had to. After all, you'd gone to so much trouble to take my children away from me." Shawn was getting angrier by the second. "Where did you put all my pictures?"

"You found out about that, did you?" She smiled nastily, "Some went in the trash. Some were burnt. A few I keep in the attic, you know, in case your parents visit their grandchildren. Don't want them wondering what's going on."

'No wouldn't want that?' Shawn said sarcastically before groaning inwardly as he'd just realized that in the days he'd been home, he hadn't called his parents. He'd been too busy with his kids.

"So," said Rebecca, interrupting Shawn's thoughts. "you ready?"

"What, no men in body suits this time? No tranquilizers"

"I told Vince's men that the tranquilizers weren't necessary as long as you came out quietly."

"What? Don't want the kids to see their father being dragged out against his will?"

"I think we both want to spare the kids from seeing that," Rebecca said. "So, unless you want Vince's men to come in here after you and be the reason why our kids need therapy in the future, I suggest you leave."

"I need to grab my things first," said Shawn.

Rebecca crossed her arms impatiently. "Things?"

"Yeah…I'm not leaving without my things this time."

She huffed, "Where are they?"

"Packed up in a suitcase in the bedroom."

She raised an eyebrow, "Our bedroom?" Shawn nodded in reply.

"Did you sleep in there?" she asked and Shawn again nodded. "Why…Why didn't you use the guest room?"

"Because I didn't want to confuse the hell out of the kids. Cameron still likes to sleep in the big bed with his parents, and I sure wasn't going to disappoint him." He smiled at the thought that he'd done something to get back at Rebecca. He remembered that just before he'd been sent to the SOD, Rebecca and he had argued about letting Cameron sleep with them. She'd thought their son was too old. Now she'd have to disappoint Cameron when Shawn left and she knew it. That's why she was now glaring at Shawn.

Satisfied, Shawn started going upstairs. Before heading into the main bedroom though, he entered Cheyenne's room. She was still asleep in her little bed. He kneeled at her bedside, and kissed the top of her head. He whispered, "Don't forget me. I'll be back, I promise. Just don't forget me."

"Why would she?" said a small voice behind Shawn. Shawn turned. There was Cameron standing in the doorway of Cheyenne's room.

"Come here, Cam." Shawn said, stretching out his arms.

Cameron came over, but instead of hugging his father, he stood there and said, "Why would she forget you?"

Shawn put his arms down and sighed.

"You're leavin', aren't you?" said Cameron, hurting.

"Cam, I don't want to go."

"Then don't," Cameron cried out. "Tell mommy, you're not goin'."

Shawn wondered if his son had heard any of the earlier conversation he'd had with Rebecca, "If I don't…things will get worse."

"Things are already worse. You're leavin'," said Cameron.

"I know it looks worse…bad…I know…" Shawn didn't know quite how to talk to his son at this moment. "But things will get better."

"How?"

Shawn thought how to answer the question, "Because I'm going to fight this. I'm not giving up. You can't give up."

"I won't. I'll fight too."

"That's the spirit," said Shawn. "Look, I've got a job for you. It's very important."

"What is it?" Cameron said with a touch of excitement at the thought that he could help his father.

"Put your hand out." Then, Shawn took out something from his pocket and placed the object in his son's waiting hand.

"Daddy?"

"You know what that is?"

"It's a wallet, like yours." Indeed it was, except it was smaller. A kid's wallet.

"Look at the front."

Cameron did as told and read the three letters engraved on the wallet, "CKM."

"Those are your initials," said Shawn, "Cameron Kade Michaels. I had a guy who makes wallets make it just for you."

"Thank you daddy."

"That wallet's very important Cameron. It's got your job inside it. Go on, open it."

Cameron did. Inside, he saw a picture of himself along with his father and sister. It was one of the pictures they'd taken all together in a photo booth during a trip to the mall.

"I have one just like it," replied Shawn. "I'll look at mine, often. I'll always think about you and your sister."

"I'll think of you dad."

Shawn said, "I know you will. And I want you to show that to your sister, so she never forgets."

"I'll show her. I'll never let her forget. I promise," said Cameron.

"Come here." Shawn held his arms out again and this time Cameron hugged his father tightly, while also clutching onto the wallet.

Eventually, Shawn did have to let go. He did and left Cheyenne's room, where his son remained holding onto the wallet.

Shawn left the room. He went to the main bedroom and grabbed his luggage. He'd tried to pack light this time and managed to get everything he wanted to bring into a large duffel bag and two big suitcases. Granted, it was still a load.

With the duffel lifted over his shoulder and the two suitcases in his hands, Shawn walked downstairs. Rebecca had not moved from the spot he'd left her in.

Seeing the luggage, Rebecca remarked, "Is there anything left of you in the bedroom?"

Shawn said, "Not much. Suppose you'll do away with what's left."

"We'll have to see, won't we?"

Shawn wasn't going to let her have the last word. "Yes, we will."

He put down a suitcase to open the door. Then, he picked it back up and walked out of his house for what he hoped was not the last time.

Shawn walked down to the driveway towards the black van. He decided to turn and glance up at his house. When he did, his attention became focused on a window on the second floor. It was his daughter's bedroom window. Looking out of it was his son. Cameron looked at his dad and raised an arm. Shawn nodded back.

With new strength, Shawn turned back to the van. He walked to it with his head held high. He would be strong for his son…and he would fight when the time was right.

As Shawn approached the van, its side door opened. Shawn saw the men in their body suits and masks. One moved towards him, but was not threatening. He simply told Shawn that he would take the luggage. Shawn set his bags down, and as directed - and on his own power – got into the van.

After the luggage and Shawn were inside, the van pulled away from the Michaels' home.

End of Chapter 1

Hope you don't mind that I went back to a narrative style. It was easier to write this chapter in that style.

Some of my readers may think that I'm hard on Shawn. He's just one of the easier characters to write for, and I wanted to give him a major problem to deal with.

I can actually relate to Cameron's problem (how to deal when your parents separate – though granted not to this extreme). When I was young, my parents argued. I used to hear it. They did separate, and my mother used to make my dad out to be the 'bad guy' in the whole thing. My dad, who I did live with (it was my mom who'd left), to his credit, rarely said anything bad about my mom.


	3. Ch 2: Welcome Back

Place and time: Vince's Headquarters in Connecticut at approximately 1 o'clock in the morning on July 12th

**Hunter:** And we're back...

Hunter was strapped into Vince's transporter, which looked far too much like a four person electric chair. He looked at the seat to his left where Sean Waltman sat…or rather slept.

**Hunter:** Well…most of us are back.

**Shawn:** (sitting on Hunter's right) Lucky us.

**Hunter:** (turns his head to look at Shawn)

**Shawn:** (turns his head to his right and away from Hunter, there's an empty seat on his right) Where is Bret anyway?

**Hunter:** I don't know. I haven't seen him. (remembering) I was the first one back. Then, sleeping beauty there (nods his head in Sean's direction) and then, you.

**Shawn:** You don't think Bret skipped out on us, do you?

**Hunter:** If he did, if we ever get out of here, I'll show up to his home with a sledgehammer.

**Bret:** (entering) That won't be necessary, Hunter.

**DX:** Bret!

Bret nodded his head in acknowledgement. He walked to the last transporter seat. When he was seated, one of Vince's technicians, a woman, began strapping his arms, legs and body down.

**Hunter:** Well, we're all here now. (looks at Sean) At least in the physical sense.

**Bret:** What's wrong with the Kid?

**Shawn:** Nothing. People do sleep at one in the morning.

**Bret:** (correcting Shawn) 'Normal people' sleep at one in the morning. The Kid isn't normal.

**Hunter:** Well, not mentally, but who is these days?

Hunter began scrutinizing Bret.

**Bret:** (realizing that Hunter is staring at him) What?

**Hunter:** You look different. Far be it for me to notice these things…being that it's Shawn's department…

**Bret:** Notice what?

**Hunter:** Your hair looks darker.

**Shawn:** (suddenly scrutinizing Bret) It does. (realizing) My God…

**Bret:** What?

**Shawn:** You dyed your hair.

**Bret:** I did not.

**Shawn:** Liar. Your hair's darker. And I don't see any gray.

**Bret:** All right, (sighs) I dye my hair. Happy?

**Shawn:** How long have you been dying?

**Bret:** Since my daughter Beans told me I was looking old five years ago.

**Shawn:** I've been calling you old for a lot longer than five years. You never did anything about your hair before.

**Bret:** You're not my kid. (the technician finally began strapping the helmet onto Bret's head) Oww! (he glared at the technician who'd pulled the helmet's strap too tight)

**Technician:** Sorry Mr. Hart, but you moved.

The technician finished and walked out of the room. Bret watched her go, thinking that something was a little odd about her.

**Bret:** (finally returning his attention to DX, also looking at Sean with concern) So, how long has the Kid been sleeping?

**Shawn:** He was asleep when I got here. That was half an hour ago, I think.

**Hunter: **He was asleep when they wheeled him in.

**Shawn & Bret: **Wheeled him in?

**Hunter: **Yeah. The Kid was wheeled in on a gurney thing, kind of like in the style of Hannibal Lector. The only differences between the two were that the Kid was asleep and didn't have a mask or a mouth guard. (looks over at Sean) Ugh, he's drooling.

**Shawn: **Just when was he wheeled in?

**Hunter: **About three hours ago.

**Bret: **Three hours ago!

**Hunter: **Maybe. It's a little hard to keep track of the time when you can't see your wristwatch.

**Bret: **Still, some time has passed. Don't you think Sean should have woken up by now? I mean, he must have felt himself being wheeled in and strapped down.

**Hunter: **We're talking about someone who can sleep through a turbulent plane ride even as everyone around him, including the pilot, is puking their guts out.

**Shawn: **Hunter, didn't you tell me that the Kid was doped up on airsickness pills during that flight.

**Hunter: **Yeah.

**Shawn: **If I were you, I'd wake Sean up.

**Hunter: **But he's mean when you wake him.

**Bret: **I don't think that's going to be an issue this time. Wake him Hunter.

**Hunter: **Fine. (looks over to Sean, sighs) Sean…(louder) Kid.

**Shawn: **Try a little more force.

**Hunter: **If I had my hands free, I'd show you force. (shouts to Sean) Kid, you prepubescent sorry excuse for a man, wake up!

**Bret: **Hunter, a little gentler.

**Hunter: **Enough with the backseat wake up calls. (to Sean) Kid!

**Sean: **(groans in his sleep) Scott, you drunken idiot. Go back to bed.

**Shawn: **Sounds like he's reliving 1995.

**Bret: **I'm not going to ask.

**Shawn: **That was a good year…(Hunter and Bret look at Shawn oddly) What?

**Bret: **I guess it was good if you like being drunk out of your mind for most of it.

**Hunter: **Which Scott Hall was. (looks over to Sean) Kid!

**Sean: **(starting to come back around) Ugh…(his head rolls to his right shoulder, his eyes open a little and he sees Hunter) Scott, you went blonde.

**Hunter: **Take a closer look, Kid.

**Sean: **Huh? (eyes open a bit more, trying to focus) Hunter?

**Hunter: **Yeah Kid.

**Sean: **(leaning over, peering at Shawn and Bret) Shawn…Bret…

**Shawn & Bret: **Yeah.

**Sean: **Where?

**Hunter: **Vince's headquarters. You do know what year it is, right?

**Sean: **2007.

**Shawn: **What year did you originally think it was?

**Sean: **1995.

**Shawn: **Hah! I knew it.

**Bret: **You okay Kid?

**Sean: **No, my head…(moves his head down) Ugh, my shirt's wet.

**Hunter: **You drooled.

**Sean:** Oh. (head pointed down, but turned to his left, staring past Hunter) Bret, you dyed your hair.

**Bret: **I can't believe that it's that noticeable.

**Shawn: **What's sad is that the Kid noticed even in his condition.

**Sean: **Actually I noticed when I saw Bret on the news when he commented on the Benoit thing. What you said Bret…

**Bret: **Yeah?

**Sean: **It was good.

**Shawn: **(to Bret) It was, you know.

**Bret: **Uh…thanks. So…Kid, do you remember what happened to you?

**Sean: **(trying to collect his thoughts) I remember running…trying to run…trying to get away…somewhere. But I couldn't.

**Hunter: **What were you running from?

**Sean: **Vince's men…(continuing, still disoriented) I was home with my family for fourteen wonderful days. On the 15th day, I knew that I didn't want to leave them again. So I took them…tried to run.

**Hunter: **Where did you run to?

**Sean: **Disneyland. My children had been bugging me and my wife to take them, so we did. I thought that Vince, even if he could find me, wouldn't attack me in front of so many people. I was wrong. Last night…it was last night, right?

**Shawn: **Yes.

**Sean: **Last night, my family and I attended the fireworks show. Just before the show, as we stood in a big crowd, two policemen came up to me. They told me to come with them and that I'd be sorry if I didn't…or rather my family would be made sorry if I didn't…wanting to protect my family, I went. The policemen took me to the parking lot. Amazingly, there were no people there. Just rows and rows of cars. I knew then and there that these were Vince's men. And I didn't want to go back. So, as we walked through the parking lot, at some point, I punched one of Vince's men and took the other one down. After that, I ran for my car. I made it too, but just as I was opening the door, something sharp struck me in the back. Next thing I knew I was down.

**Bret: **The tranquilizer darts.

**Sean: **And now I'm here and I feel awful. My head hurts. I even feel nauseous.

**Shawn: **Sounds like Vince's men really did a number on you.

**Vince: **(still unseen by our heroes) Well, I couldn't have him attacking my men, could I?

Vince comes into view.

**Vince: **Welcome back gentlemen.(no one answers) What? No greetings.

**Shawn:** Let's see, you've kidnapped us…again. So no.

**Vince: **What kidnap? Each of you came willingly…well, except the Kid. (to Sean) By the way, I hope three tranquilizers made you learn your lesson. You can't run from me.

**Bret: **Three tranquilizers? You know you could have killed him.

**Sean: **Considering how I feel, I almost wish he did.

**Vince: **Like I said, other than the Kid, none of you were forcefully taken. You all walked into the van that picked you up and walked into this room on your own power.

**Shawn: **Because if we hadn't, we would have ended up like the Kid. It's still kidnapping Vince. We don't want to be here.

**Vince: **I would watch my attitude if I were you Shawn. I did a lot of thinking over the past 15 days.

**Bret: **Did you think and finally realize that the storyline in which you killed yourself was stupid?

**Vince: **No. That storyline was perfectly fine thank you. If what happened to Chris hadn't happened…but enough of that. I was thinking, actually, of sending you all home permanently.

**Shawn: **Seriously?

**Vince: **Seriously.

**Bret: **The catch being?

**Vince: **You all need to start doing as I ask.

**Bret: **And become little mindless followers.

**Vince: **How hard is it to do as I ask?

**Shawn: **It's not hard Vince, we just don't want to because we don't like you.

**Hunter: **(admonishing) Shawn…

**Shawn: **What Hunter?

**Hunter: **Just easy, okay.

**Shawn: **Why are you sticking up for Vince?

**Hunter: **I'm not…I just want to hear him out…in case he says something sensible.

**Shawn: **(sarcastic) Sensible, right…

**Vince: **You might want to listen to your best friend Shawn. All you have to do is hear me out.

**Shawn: **Okay, but hurry it up. My butt's starting to fall asleep sitting in this chair.

**Sean: **And while you're talking, Vince, do you think one of your men could get me some aspirin?

**Vince: **Let's get one thing clear: starting now, I say something, you do it.

**Sean: **So that's a no on the aspirin then?

**Vince: **Shut up, Kid. All of you hear me out. I demand to see some improvement in the way you treat me. If I don't see it, then, you will never go home.

**Bret: **Damn.

**Vince: **Then you realize that this is serious. (he gets serious looks from our heroes) Good. So now that we understand each other, I'll be sending you back to the satellite.

**Hunter: **One thing Vince, you did get the bug in the transporter fixed, right? What I mean is that we won't rematerialize in mid air, right?

**Vince: **Yes, the transporter won't rematerialize you in mid air . You can thank me for that.

**Hunter: **Thanks.

**Shawn: **(to Hunter) Why are you being so nice?

**Hunter: **Don't you want to go home permanently?

**Shawn: **(sarcastic)Yeah, like Vince would ever keep his word.

**Vince: **Guess we'll have to see, right?

With that, Vince held out his remote to the transporter and pressed a button. Our heroes broke up into millions of molecules and disappeared.

End of Chapter 2

Just how will things be once our heroes are back on the satellite? Read on and find out.


	4. Ch 3: Back On The SOD

Place and time: The den on the Satellite of Degenerates on the morning of July 12th

Our heroes' molecules reformed in the den. They all felt that their feet were securely on the ground.

For a moment, all four men were deep in their own thoughts:

Hunter was glad that Vince fixed the transporter problem. After all, he didn't want to injure his knee again now it was healed. However, things troubled Hunter. Hunter had been hard on Shawn earlier, and he couldn't tell his friend why. "At least Vince hadn't said anything more," thought Hunter. With everything on Hunter's mind, The Game had a headache, and a massive one at that.

Sean's head was clear finally. He tried to open his eyes, but before he could see anything, he had to let them adjust to the den's lights which were much brighter than those in Vince's headquarters.

Meanwhile, Bret stretched as he was glad to be free from the transporter. Even the satellite was better than sitting in that contraption. Another few moments in that thing might have caused real pain to his back, which was already slightly sore.

Shawn also stretched. He raised his arms high. Then, his hands went to his hair. His hair…which seemed shorter than he usually wore it. And it was wavy…almost curly. Something didn't feel right. His body didn't feel right.

**Shawn: **Something's wrong. I don't think all of me came back.

**Sean: **What do you mean?

Likewise, Sean was starting to feel like something wasn't right. He felt…big.

**Shawn: **(explaining) My hair's shorter.

Shawn's hair was just long enough for him to pull it in front so that he could see it. When he looked at his hair, instead of seeing shiny golden brown locks, he saw dark greasy looking ones.

**Shawn: **What the hell?

**Bret: **Shawn, what's wrong?

Shawn and Bret turned to face each other…and when they did, they came face to face…with themselves.

**Shawn: **(realizing) Oh…my…God!

**Bret: **Oh no. What I think happened didn't really happen, did it?

**Shawn: **I think it did.

**Hunter: **What the hell are you guys talking about?

**Sean: **(surprised at where Hunter's voice was coming from) Hunter, weren't you on my right?

**Hunter: **Yeah.

**Sean: **Then, how did you get on my left?

Hunter and Sean turn to face each other…and when they did, they came face to face with themselves.

**Hunter: **No…no…

**Sean: **(puts a hand on his face to touch his nose) My nose is huge.

**Bret: **I think that supports it…we've all switched bodies.

**Shawn: **And now I'm in Bret's body.

**Bret: **And I'm in yours.

**Sean: **Pretty ironic considering that a few months ago you two wouldn't be caught in the same state together.

**Shawn: **That's a bit of a stretch…Pinocchio.

**Sean: **I'm not going to let that get to me. It's your best friend's nose after all.

**Hunter: **Wait Shawn, that's not really what you think of me when you look at my nose, is it?

**Shawn: **Huh? No…I just said it to insult the Kid.

**Bret: **Getting back to the problem at hand…

**Shawn: **Right…Vince, I know you're listening. You get yourself on the screen right now!

**Vince: **(appears) Hello…(barely containing his desire to smirk) Bret.

**Shawn: **Vince, if you've been watching, and I know you have, then you know that I'm not Bret.

**Vince: **Oh, I've been watching. All of you seem to be a little mixed up.

**Hunter: **Understatement.

**Sean: **The only good thing is that I don't have a headache anymore.

**Hunter: **That's because I have it. (to Vince) Vince, I thought you said that the transporter was fixed.

**Vince: **I said no such thing.

**Hunter: **But…

**Vince: **I only said that the bug that caused you to rematerialize in the air was fixed. Unfortunately, when that bug was fixed, another one that scrambled multiple molecules was found.

**Bret: **And you knew about this and didn't fix it or warn us?

**Vince: **By the time I found out about it, there was no time to fix it, as for warning you, what good would that have done?

**Shawn: **Thanks a lot. You are working on figuring out a way to fix this, right?

**Vince: **I have Shane and my technical staff on it. You might say that Shane is as eager as you are to get this matter corrected.

Suddenly, the camera shot moves from Vince to a woman, the same one that strapped Bret down earlier.

**Shawn: **And who are you supposed to be?

**Shane: **(everyone hears his voice from the woman's body) It's me Shawn.

**All: **(in surprise) Shane?

**Bret: **That's why the voice sounded so odd to me earlier.

**Hunter: **So, Stephanie has a new sister.

**Shane: **If you don't watch it, Stephanie will have to start looking for a new husband.

**Hunter: **You're in a bad mood Shane…is it that time of the month.

Our other three heroes can't keep themselves from snorting and laughing. On screen, Shane's face is becoming quite red.

**Hunter: **Based off of your expression, I'm thinking that it is.

**Shane: **Youmade a deal Hunter.

Hunter became serious. Shawn stopped smiling.

**Shawn: **What deal?

**Hunter: **Just a deal. Nothing big.

**Shawn: **So tell me.

**Shane: **Yeah Hunter, tell him.

**Hunter: **Shane and I just made an agreement that he and I would stop insulting each other because we both realize that we're stuck in similar situations. (looks at Shane) That's all.

**Shane: **That's enough for now.

**Hunter: **I thought you didn't like having to follow your dad any more than we did.

**Shane: **Neither of us have much of a choice.

**Vince: **Shane has realized what you four haven't quite realized. Follow me, and benefit. Don't follow me, and suffer for it.

**Sean: **I'm just curious Shane, what did you do to the transporter that now has you getting in touch with your feminine side?

**Shane: **(narrowing his/her eyes at Sean) I figured that the reason the transporter was rematerializing people in mid air was that there was a problem with the gravitational unit. So I rigged the gravitational unit to synchronize with rematerializer unit. When the transporter was tested on myself and one of the technicians, what appears to have happened is since the gravitational unit uses so much energy, there was less energy for the rematerializer unit to use, so as a result, the rematerializer got lazy and just jumbled up the molecules, particularly the ones that relate to personality and physical form.

**Shawn: **I didn't understand a single word of that.

**Sean: **I did. I read the manual.

**Shawn: **I don't really care about the how. I just want to know if it can be corrected, or am I going to have to get used to flannel shirts because they're the only shirts that someone seems to own?

**Bret: **I own more than flannel.

**Shane: **Believe me, I'm working on correcting this problem. Perhaps, if I just put more energy into the rematerializer unit, and then run each of us with the person he or she is mixed up with, the molecules will reassemble themselves correctly.

**Sean: **Be careful Shane, if you put too much energy into the rematerializer unit, our molecules will speed up and become unstable.

**Shawn: **Meaning?

**Sean: **We'll blow up.

**Hunter: **I'd prefer not blowing up.

**Shane: **I'm working on it.

**Vince: **(the camera moves back to him) While Shane works to correct the transporter malfunction, you four can make your way into the theater…

**Bret: **Wait, we have a fan fic to read already?

**Vince: **Yes, and Marie would like to welcome you back personally.

**All: **(groan)

**Shawn: **Do we have time to at least run to the bathroom? (everyone stares at Shawn) What, I need to use the bathroom.

**Hunter: **You wouldn't be going in order to check Bret's body…I mean yours…out, would you?

**Bret: **(disgusted) Eww…

**Shawn:** (shocked) What…no…how can you think that Hunter?

**Hunter: **Because everyone else was thinking it.

**Bret: **I wasn't.

**Sean: **Liar.

**Shawn:** Look, I just need to use the bathroom.

**Vince: **Okay Shawn, but make it quick.

Shawn left the den. He didn't need to turn around to know that everyone was still staring at him.

End of Chapter 3

Shawn in Bret's body, going into the bathroom? Awkward.


	5. Ch 4: Out Of Body Experience

Place and time: The bathroom on the Satellite of Degenerates on the morning of July 12th

Shawn entered the bathroom and locked the door. He walked to the mirror and looked at his reflection. Sure enough, it was Bret's face looking back at him.

**Shawn: **This is too weird.

Shawn went about the business he had to do. Despite being slightly curious, he resisted the urge to check himself out naked.

After finishing and flushing the toilet, Shawn did look at his body - Bret's body - with clothes on. He couldn't help it. Shawn was still about the same height. After all, Bret was only an inch shorter. However, physically, Bret was a bit more muscular, especially in the arms. Also, Bret was wider in the chest and hips, which meant Shawn wouldn't be able to wear his own clothes. Finally, Bret's complexion was darker. Overall though, Bret was in amazing health for someone his age, and he didn't look as bad as Shawn said he did.

There was one thing that bothered Shawn, besides the fact that he was in Bret's body. That thing was that Bret's hair was hanging down in his face.

Shawn exited the bathroom and went to his room. He took his hair brush and a hair tie and began styling his, or rather Bret's hair.

**Shawn: **The man doesn't know a thing about conditioning.

Finally, Shawn had Bret's hair the way he wanted it…half pulled back and out of the way.

Now Shawn was ready. He left his room and returned to the den.

Upon returning to the den, Shawn found no one there. Instead, he found a note taped above the television screen:

"We're in the theater room."

Shawn headed to the theater room to join the others.

End of Chapter 4

I know this is short, but the next chapter more than makes up for it.


	6. Ch 5: The Most Messed Up Wrestling Show

Place and time: The theater room on the Satellite of Degenerates on the morning of July 12th

Shawn entered the theater room and found the others seated in their row. The Kid sat towards the wall. Hunter sat next to him and Bret sat closest to the aisle.

Shawn entered the row and took the empty seat next to Bret.

**Sean:** Nice of you to join us.

**Shawn: **It's just as nice that you waited.

**Hunter: **I wanted to go in because I didn't want the alarm to sound.

**Sean: **That, and we were getting tired of waiting for you.

**Bret: **We thought you fell in…(looking Shawn over) What the hell did you do to my hair?

**Shawn: **Tied it back to keep it away from my face.

**Bret: **(emphasizing the pronouns)That's **my** face…and if **I** wanted **my** hair to be tied back, **I** would have done it.

**Shawn: **You couldn't have. **I'm** in your body. So** I** chose to do what **I** wanted to with your hair.

**Bret: **It looks stupid.

**Sean: **(to Hunter) I can't believe that we just got back and that they're having an argument over hair.

**Bret: **How would you like it if I cut your hair because I don't like it this long?

**Shawn: **I'd kill you.

**Bret: **But you can't. **I'm** in your body.

**Sean: **Would that be considered suicide if Shawn destroyed his own body?

**Shawn: **Shut up, Kid. (just then, the lights got darker, and a message appeared on screen)

_That's enough of that._

**Bret: **Marie, shouldn't you be asleep at this time?

_It may be early in the morning for you, but it's mid day where I am._

**Hunter: **Watch it, or you'll give away your location.

_I'm surprised you can even think straight right now…Sean._

**Hunter: **It's just like you to kick me when I'm down.

_Cheer up Hunter. I heard about the deal._

**Shawn: **Even she knew about the deal before I did.

**Hunter: **Shawn, it's not important.

**Shawn: **(feeling hurt) I'm your best friend.

**Hunter: **(feeling guilty) I know.

_Yes, well…anyway…welcome back. How was everyone's vacation?_

**Sean: **Good…up until the point that I was abducted in the Disneyland parking lot. I got to spend a lot of time with my family.

_I know that you Hunter took Stephanie and Aurora to a beach house._

**Hunter: **How…(realizing) Vince.

_And Shawn…considering your family is…_

**Shawn: **It's fine. My kids are wonderful.

_And Bret…_

**Bret: **Being nosy, aren't you.

_Come on, spill..._

**Shawn: **Yeah, what does the Hitman do on vacation besides dye his hair and grant interviews?

**Bret: **I spent time with my wife in Italy. My kids came to visit us. One of the things we did was go to a festival.

**Shawn: **Fun. Did you go on any rides?

**Bret: **There weren't that many. Just a ferris wheel and merry-go-round.

**Shawn:** Boring.

**Bret: **It was mostly a festival to display goods, and some athletics. My kids found it interesting…although Jade was distracted…

**Shawn:** With what?

**Bret: **She brought Mike Dibease with her.

**Shawn: **Mike Dibease? Ted's kid?

**Bret: **He's not a kid anymore.

**Shawn: **What's going on? Do I hear wedding bells?

**Bret: **No…not yet.

**Shawn: **(hums the wedding march)

**Bret: **Shawn…

**Shawn: **(laughs) I'm just teasing you. Lighten up, or you're going to give my face wrinkles.

_Now that we've caught up, let's get back down to business._

**Sean: **What are we reading today?

_A fan fic…written by me…just for you. It's my welcome back present._

**Hunter: **Gee, you shouldn't have.

**Sean: **What's it about?

_It's about…well maybe I should just let you find that out for yourselves._

**Sean: **That can't be good.

_The Most Messed Up Wrestling Show Ever_

**Bret: **Survivor Series…

**Shawn: **(sighs annoyed)

**Bret: **Oh fine…Wrestlemania 11.

**Shawn: **Oh sure, choose a show that I main evented.

**Bret:** Actually, Lawrence Taylor main evented. If you had main evented it, I wouldn't have such a problem with it.

**Shawn: **Well…my match was the best. (Bret rolls his eyes, or rather Shawn's eyes, at Shawn)

_Marie's note: Guys, this is just the title._

**Hunter: **And we're already misting. This is going to be long.

_Monday Night Raw went on the air._

**Bret:** Great, I don't even like to watch Raw. Now I have to read about it.

_Instead of Raw's theme song coming on followed by Jim Ross' usual introduction, Raw began with Vince standing in the ring with a microphone._

**Hunter: **It's never a good thing when Raw starts off like that.

**Shawn: **It's never a good thing for us.

"_Ladies and gentlemen, tonight I have scheduled a little wake up call._

**Sean: **What? Did the audience fall asleep?

**Hunter: **Usually that doesn't happen till the middle of the show when Vince has people like Chris Masters and Kenny Dyxstra come out.

**Shawn: **I agree. We need a better mid card.

"_A wake up call for you the audience, and those in the back._

**Hunter:** Come to think of it, Carlito could use a wake up call. He's fallen asleep backstage a few times.

"_From now on, you will all do as I say...Starting with showing me the appreciation and respect I deserve."_

**Shawn: **Oh no, it's Vince McMahon appreciation night revisited.

**Hunter:** (to Shawn) At least Vince didn't use a holographic projection of you.

**Bret: **What I don't get about that incident, Hunter, is that Vince programmed our holographic images to disrespect him.

**Hunter: **I think he had to, or our images wouldn't have been believable.

_McMahon paused and then said, "Right now, I want Hacksaw Jim Duggan in this ring."_

**Shawn: **Hacksaw?

**Sean: **I can't believe that guy's still wrestling.

_Hacksaw came out to the chant of USA._

**Shawn:** Just what did Hacksaw do to Vince?

_Hacksaw entered the ring. Vince narrowed his eyes at Duggan and said, "You have been making comments as of late. You don't agree with how I run my company."_

**Sean: **What does Vince do, bug backstage?

**Hunter: **That concept surprises you?

**Sean: **No, it just lets me know why I'm in so much trouble with Vince. I didn't have very nice things to say about Vince back in 95.

_Duggan said in a raised voice, "I don't think you should be caring for your workers so badly. We work hard. We should have better."_

**Sean: **Better what?

**Bret: **He's not very specific, is he?

**Shawn: **I know that Duggan is no mental giant, but he's more articulate than that.

**Hunter: **The author's taking some liberties with Duggan's character.

"_Since you__feel that way, how does a vacation sound?_" _Vince asked._

"_Sounds rather good," replied Duggan._

**Bret: **(mumbles) I had to either beg or get injured to get a vacation.

**Shawn: **(overhearing) Or get fired. (Bret glares at him)

"_Then please, by all means, take a vacation…" Vince's lips turned into a sneer. Meanwhile, a large monster was entering the ring behind Duggan._

**All: **Uh oh.

_Despite his fan's cries of desperation, Duggan never turned around._

**Bret: **(reading the last line over) **"**His fan's cries"…as in one? Duggan's popularity has sure decreased.

**Hunter: **It would explain why Duggan didn't look behind him. You can't hear one fan's voice in the arena.

_Vince's voice rose in excitement, "On the Sumoan Bulldozer!"_

_Duggan chose that moment to turn around and when he did, he was bulldozed by none other than…Umaga._

**DX: **Shocking!

**Shawn:** We've only seen this happen like a hundred times.

**Hunter: **Which? Umaga flattening someone, or Duggan getting beaten up?

**Shawn: **Both, actually.

_As Umaga continued to have his way with Duggan_

**Sean: **That is not an image I wanted in my head.

**Bret & DX:** (realizing that Sean was making a sexual remark) Kid!

_Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler, along with the audience watched helplessly._

**Shawn:** (bad Jim Ross impression) Umaga is destroying Duggan! Oh no…please God no…don't let this happen…somebody stop this.

**Hunter: **(looks at Shawn with concern)

_Once Duggan was immobilized, Umaga moved his body to the corner so that it leaned against the bottom turnbuckle. Then Umaga walked to the opposite corner and charged…Turning during the charge, Umaga's ass collided with Duggan's body snapping the proud American's head back, in a move known as the Samoan wrecking ball.. _

**Shawn: **(as Jim Ross) Duggan's body is like a fallen tree after an encounter with a bulldozer.

**Hunter: **(slightly annoyed) Okay Shawn.

_Unable to move out of the ring on his own, Duggan was finally transported out on a stretcher. _

**Sean:** It looks like Duggan is going to get his vacation after all. It's just too bad that it'll be spent held down in a narrow little bed, staring at white walls and flowery curtains while receiving food through a tube.

_Vince brought the microphone to his lips._

**Hunter: **And kissed it.

**Shawn:** That mike's no good anymore.

_Vince said, looking towards the back, "Let that be a lesson to all of you backstage. I am God._

**Shawn: **Blasphemer.

_I created you. I created everything you see here and I created everyone of those superstars that are backstage._

**Sean:** What is it with this 'Vince is God' crap?

**Hunter: **Vince is trying to compensate for something.

**Bret: **Like low ratings.

**Hunter:** (looking at Bret) Did you just make a comment about Vince's sexual prowess?

**Bret: **(trying to get out of what he just said) Uh…no, I just think Vince is running out of ideas. You've been around the Kid too long.

**Sean: **Looks like being in my body is having a bad affect on your mind Hunter.

**Hunter:** (to Shawn) If I start going overboard on the sexual comments, can you hit me?

**Shawn:** It depends…is your sledgehammer close by?

_And if you have not figured that out, maybe another demonstration is in order. Bring out Eugene."_

_Eugene comes down the ramp and enters the ring. He's excited to be in there._

**Shawn: **That poor guy has never realized that the only reason he's brought out is so that the other wrestlers have someone to embarrass or beat on.

**Sean:** Well, he is Bischoff's nephew. Bischoff was never exactly observant either.

"_Hello Mr. McMahon," said Eugene. _

"_Hello, Eugene," Vince began, but was interrupted._

"_I'm very happy to be here," said Eugene._

"_Yes. Now Eugene, you know who I am, right?"_

_Eugene said happily, "Yes, you're Vince McMahon. You're the boss."_

**Hunter: **(as Vince) Very good Eugene. Now you can go have some milk and cookies.

**Bret: **I thought Vince was done using stupid gimmicks.

**Shawn:** You know what they say, 'the more things change'…

"_Yes Eugene. I'm the boss and do you know what happens to people who don't realize that."_

"_They get hurt."_

"_Very good," said Vince. He was smiling as he watched Umaga, who had exited the ring before Eugene entered, reenter._

**All:** Bye, Eugene.

_The crowd began to try to get Eugene's attention. After a moment, Eugene turned and saw Umaga in front of him._

**Sean:** Eugene's proven himself to be more observant than Bischoff.

_Eugene looked to Vince and tried to plead with him. "No please…Eugene respect Vince. Eugene like Vince." _

**Shawn: **(as Eugene) Eugene don't want to be hurt.

_But Eugene's pleas did no good. Umaga charged and clotheslined Eugene, almost taking his head off in the process._

**Hunter:** And now Eugene's IQ just dropped another ten points.

_Umaga went to grab Eugene, but Vince stopped him._

"_No…he was just a warm up."_

**Bret: **What was Duggan then?

**Sean: **Lower than a warmup.

**Bret: **What do you have against Duggan?

**Sean: **He's old. I'd say the same about Flair…only I wouldn't be so nice.

**Bret: **It's just that kind of attitude that made everyone want to beat you up back in 95.

_Vince kept smiling as Eugene was assisted out of the ring._

"_This is another heinous attempt of Vince's to glorify himself," said Jim Ross._

"_Ross, be careful what you say," Lawler said admonishing his friend._

**Bret: **Wait, the announcers waited ten minutes into the show to say something?

**Sean: **They're slacking.

**Shawn: **They'll never live up to what was said about them at the Hall of Fame this past year if they keep up like that.

_Just as Lawler's comment was out, Vince turned his head to look at the announcer's table. _

**Hunter:** Which one, we have three?

**Shawn: **Unless someone crashed through the Spanish and French tables already. (glares at Bret)

**Bret: **Look somewhere else with my eyes, will you? And I never crashed through the French table.

**Shawn: **No, but because of you, wrestlers have been colliding into the Spanish announcers ever since.

**Hunter:** Bret, did WWE even have a French table when you were wrestling? (Bret glares at Hunter) And don't glare at me with Shawn's eyes. I deal with that whenever I do something that offends his Christian sensibility.

**Shawn: **What?

**Hunter: **(changing subject) Back to the fan fic.

"_Jim Ross, in here now."_

**Sean:** Isn't it too early in the show to knock out the announcer? And isn't it usually Lawler? (everyone else shrugs)

_Jim Ross stands…_

"_Jim, don't go in there," said Lawler._

"_I've been called up," said Ross._

**Shawn:** To the Pearly Gates, which is where Ross will go if Umaga runs him over. (to Hunter) Now what did you mean about offending my Christian sensibilities?

**Hunter: **Later.

_Jim Ross made his way to the ring. _

_Lawler considered stopping Ross and going in himself, but he reconsidered and remained where he was._

**Sean: **Real nice of you Lawler.

**Bret: **It's more true to how Lawler was when I was wrestling.

_Ross entered the ring. _

"_Come here," ordered Vince. Jim Ross came, but kept an eye on Umaga who stood off to the side. "Now Jim Ross, you've had some rather derogatory remarks to say about me."_

**Shawn: **You think? Ross only wanted me to kill Vince at Wrestlemania 22.

"_Yes sir," Ross said into the microphone._

"_And if you were me, what would you do about it?" asked Vince._

**Sean: **Ross could be Vince if he had Vince's transporter.

"_I would strongly think about the harm my actions were doing to people," answered Ross._

**Bret: **That's just it. Vince never thinks of others.

"_You would, would you?" Vince eyed Ross. "If you were me, I suppose you would think about your actions before doing anything to me so that your actions did not harm me._

**Shawn:** Anyone else have to read that again? (the others nod) Just checking.

_Let's get one thing clear, I don't care if my actions hurt you."_

**Bret: **My bad. Vince does think about his actions, he just doesn't care.

_Ross didn't even realize that Vince was moving him so that when Vince stopped, the two men had switched places. _

"_I don't care if you get hurt…"_

_Before it dawned on Ross about why Vince had moved him…Umaga, who'd been behind the announcer, rolled over him._

_Vince, who'd stepped out of the way, came to Ross and kneeled down, "All I care about is this show. And you're fired."_

**All:** Again?

**Sean: **That makes what, three times?

**Hunter:** He'll be rehired.

**Sean: **If Ross keeps this up, he'll tie Marty Jannetty as the superstar who's been fired and rehired the most times.

**Shawn: **I don't think that would be possible.

_Ross, who wasn't a wrestler_

**Sean: **Obviously.

_was taken out of the ring on a stretcher._

**Hunter: **I'm starting to think this fan fic should be called 'Umaga Rolls Over WWE'.

**Shawn: **There does seem to be a theme.

**Bret: **I thought I was in hell when we had the RAW marathon, but I was wrong.

"_I hope everyone in the audience and everyone backstage has realized that no one is safe. Not fan favorites…not innocents…not the respected…and not even those who are no longer involved in the company."_

**Hunter: **In other words, which wrestler from the past would you like to see Umaga roll over?

**Bret: **(notices Shawn glancing his way) I saw that Michaels.

**Shawn: **I…it was…it was a reflex. Just like you with the Survivor Series crack earlier.

_Looking towards the back, Vince said, "Send him out."_

_The audience waited in anticipation._

_Lawler, now solo, said, "Let's see who's coming out…It's…"_

_Everyone saw a skinny figure come out from behind the curtain._

_Lawler seemed, and the rest of the audience was, clueless as to who it was that had come out._

**Hunter: **(thinking) Skinny guy that no one knows. (moves his head towards Sean)

**Sean: **Why are you looking at me?

**Hunter: **Because you fit the description so perfectly.

**Sean: **(looking at Hunter) Actually, you fit the description perfectly.

_Lawler received some information and relayed it to the television audience, "I've just been informed that it's Xpac."_

**Sean: **Damn. Why?

**Hunter: **Because Vince doesn't like you.

**Sean: **Why can't he just forget about me?

**Hunter: **You mean like the rest of the audience.

**Sean: **(shouts) Shut up!

_The most shocking thing, besides the fact that very few people remembered who Xpac was_

**Sean: **Ugh!

**Shawn: **Kid, you were the one that first brought it up that you were insignificant. (the Kid glares at him)

_was that Xpac's body was wrapped in chains, with his arms forced behind his body and his legs were bound together at the thighs and knees._

**Hunter:** At least you're conscious this time, Kid.

**Sean:** Considering that I think I know what's going to happen to me, I would rather be unconscious.

_Xpac stood in place, not wanting to enter the ring_

**Bret: **Not wanting to get his body broken.

_however, Vince's stooges, Gerri Brusco and Pat Patterson, came out and pushed Xpac towards the ring. Unable to fight back, Xpac had no choice but to waddle to ringside._

**Bret: **Waddle?

**Shawn: **Imagine the way a penguin walks.

**Sean: **My embarrassment is complete.

_Tentative to enter the ring, he didn't._

**Sean:** Go me.

_But Umaga was restless and bolted out of the ring to grab Xpac. Unable to get away, Xpac ended up in Umaga's clutches. _

**Hunter: **Go Umaga. (off Sean's upset look) Sorry.

_Umaga rolled Xpac in the ring. Xpac struggled to get to his feet, as Umaga came in after him. Just as Xpac was up, Umaga bowled him over._

**Shawn: **Strike. (off Sean's upset look) Sorry.

_Umaga looked towards Vince, as if looking for direction._

**Shawn: **Um, why is Umaga looking to Vince?

**Hunter: **Haven't you gotten it that Vince is God yet?

**Shawn: **I refuse to even mention Vince and God in the same sentence. I mean where is Armando Alejandro Estrada? (Hunter just shrugs) Oh, you're a lot of help.

_Vince nodded, signaling that Umaga could go ahead. Umaga proceeded to set up Xpac for the Samoan wrecking ball, and then performed the move._

**Bret: **Squashing the Kid flat enough so that he can fit underneath a door.

_Xpac was out of it and once again the paramedics had to come out._

**Bret: **Why'd they ever leave?

_As the paramedics checked Xpac, Vince said, "Any questions?"_

**Sean: **How much longer is this fan fic?

**Hunter:** If it's as long as a Raw show, another hour and a half or so.

**Sean: **(look of terror crosses his face) No way.

_As soon as Vince asked if there were any questions, very familiar and crowd pleasing entrance music filled the arena. _

**All: **(singing) 'I am a real American. Fight for the rights of every man…'

'_Are you ready?'_

**DX:** No!!!

**Bret: **You guys are…how do I say this…screwed.

**Shawn: **I'm beginning to think you wrote this instead of Marie.

**Bret: **Why would I torture myself like this?

_The song continued: _

'_Ya think you can tell us what to do_

_Ya think you can tell us what to wear_

**Bret: **I wish.

**Shawn: **Watch it Bret or I'll choose something from my wardrobe that will truly frighten you.

_You think you're better_

**Bret: **Yes. (DX glare at him)

**Sean: **Well, this is getting uncomfortable.

_Well you better get ready_

_Bow to the masters_

_Break it down!'_

**Shawn:** I never thought I'd be frightened by my own theme song.

**Bret: **Could be worse, I suppose.

**Shawn: **How?

**Bret: **We could be reading your version of 'Sexy Boy'.

**Shawn: **I hate you.

_Degeneration X finally appeared out from backstage. As their ring song continued, DX made their way to the ring._

_Shawn was his usual hyper self_

**Shawn: **Hyper?

**Hunter: **Well…

**Shawn: **Go on.

**Hunter: **Why do you think I encourage you to drink decaf in the morning?

_as he danced, badly, to the ring._

**Shawn: **Danced badly?

**Bret: **Shawn, I know you have problems realizing this, but you can't dance.

Hunter, as usual, showed off his muscular physique which he showed off even more when he spit his water. This time Hunter spit on Shawn as well as himself.

**Sean: **Eww.

**Shawn: **What have I said about doing that, Hunter?

**Hunter: **It's a fan fic Shawn. I always wait for you to distance yourself from me before I spit.

But Shawn ignored it.

**Bret: **Because, as usual, he was in a world that revolved only around himself.

**Shawn: **All right, I admit it. I'm egotistical, but even I would react to Hunter spitting on me.

_Upon entering the ring, Hunter grabbed a microphone. Unlike Shawn, who was posing for the fans and cameras, Hunter kept an eye on Vince and Umaga._

**Shawn: **(rereading the line) 'Posing for the fans and cameras'…

**Hunter: **Nice priorities pal.

_Hunter addressed the crowd, "For the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world, and because Vince McMahon loves Umaga's cock_

**Hunter: **I did not just say that.

**Sean: **I wouldn't even say that.

**Shawn: **Hunter, you tormented Vince during the last half of last year with cock jokes. Why are you upset by what the fan fic says?

**Hunter: **Because I never got personal with it. I never named the owner of the…

**Bret: **Moving on.

_let's get ready to suck it."_

**All: **Let's not.

_"And if you're not down with that," Shawn chipped in, "We've got two words for you…"_

**Sean: **Go home.

**Hunter: **Hasta lavista.

**Shawn: **Hakuna matata.

**Bret: **Hakuna matata?

**Shawn: **I watched The Lion King with my kids when I was home. It was the only two words I could think of.

_The crowd joined Shawn in as he said, "Suck it."_

**Sean: **How original.

_"Now Vince," said Shawn, who came up to the chairman, "I know you don't like anybody who works for you_

**Shawn: **That's the first thing that this fan fic has gotten right.

_but have you ever considered that if you keep bulldozing the wrestlers that you'll have no wrestlers left. And if you have no wrestlers left, you'll have no show."_

**Bret: **I'm really surprised that the author is making you sound so intelligent Shawn.

**Shawn: **Why?

**Bret: **Because she seemed so hell bent on making you seem so stupid.

_Vince looked at Shawn smugly._

**Shawn: **That can't be good.

_"You think so Michaels? Haven't you learned anything? There will always be a wrestling show. You want to know why?"_

**Shawn: **Not really.

_"Why?" Shawn asked._

**Sean: **Something tells me that you're going to find out the hard way Shawn.

_"Because there will always be people who want the spotlight on them, who will do whatever it takes to get there," Vince replied, "even step on their friends,_

**Bret: **Or their coworkers. (Shawn glares at him)

_as you well know Shawn, seeing as you've stabbed friends in the back to get where you wanted to be."_

**Shawn: **Bret and I weren't friends. (Bret looks at him) Don't look at me with my own eyes that way, you know we weren't friends.

_"I would never do that today," Shawn said._

**Hunter: **Most appreciated pal.

_"Perhaps…" Vince said._

_"I wouldn't," Shawn said defensively._

_"If provided with the opportunity…"_

_Shawn lost his temper, "I would never do it. I would never betray a friend not for any…"_

_Shawn was rudely interrupted as someone hit him from behind._

**Shawn: **I'm going to guess that Umaga got me.

_Shawn assumed that his attacker, who still stood over him, was Umaga._

**Sean: **Marie's gotten to know you too well Shawn.

_But as Shawn looked around, he saw that Umaga was outside the ring. And if Umaga was outside the ring, then who was standing over him?_

**Shawn: **Vince was in front of me…that only leaves one other person in the ring.

_Shawn turned onto his back and saw Hunter above him. Hunter had a cold look on his face._

**Shawn: **(looks unhappily at Hunter)

**Hunter: **Remember Shawn, we're at the mercy of Vince and Marie. Vince probably ordered her to write in a DX split.

**Shawn: **Why do I have to be on the wrong end of that split?

**Hunter: **Because the author hates you more.

_"Why?" asked Shawn._

_Hunter answered bluntly, "Just as Vince said, I'll do anything to get in the spotlight."_

**Hunter: **Except this.

**Sean: **How do you know for sure though?

**Shawn: **Yeah, how do you know for sure?

**Hunter: **Shawn, although there are times I may be do things that you disagree with, I would never ever hurt you intentionally.

_Out of the corner of his eye, Shawn saw Umaga grab Hunter's sledgehammer from under the ring. Umaga slid the weapon into the ring and Hunter bent down to get it._

**Shawn: **The next line had better say that when Hunter stands, I kick him with some sweet chin music.

**Bret: **While you're on your back on the canvas?

**Shawn: **Okay, I do a kickup and then hit him with sweet chin music.

_When Hunter stood, he held the sledgehammer over his head. He looked down at Shawn._

**Hunter: **And came to my senses. Then, I knocked out Vince.

_Shawn, shocked that his friend had turned on him, didn't move._

**Sean: **Kind of like a deer caught in the headlights of a car.

_Hunter brought the sledgehammer down right on Shawn's skull. A sickening crunch was heard._

**Sean: **The same kind of sounds a hunter makes when he clubs a baby seal.

**Bret & DX: **Kid!

**Shawn: **Enough with the imagery already.

_Shawn crumbled to the canvas, lifeless looking._

**Shawn: **(groans)

_Vince had a wide smile on his face, while Triple H's expression remained cold. Both men watched as Shawn was taken out of the ring on a stretcher._

**Sean:** You have plenty of people to choose from Shawn.

**Shawn: **For what?

**Sean: **For who you want to room with in the hospital. Take your pick: Duggan, Eugene or Jim Ross.

_The reaction from the crowd was a mixed one. Some cried, as one would expect to see. However, some cheered._

**Shawn:** I got beat up. What's there to cheer about?

**Bret: **I told you that American wrestling fans were bloodthirsty.

_And the show went on._

_The End_

**Bret: **Is that it?

**Shawn: **You were expecting more?

**Bret: **No, it's just…

**Shawn: **Depressing. Why does the author hate me so much?

**Hunter: **What do you expect from a huge Bret Hart fan?

**Shawn: **Forgiveness.

_Marie: You're not going to get it from me._

**Bret:** After that fan fic, even I forgive Shawn.

**Sean:** (to Hunter) Hell has frozen over.

**Shawn: **(to Bret)You forgive me?

**Bret: **At least for the moment.

**Hunter:** At this moment, let's get out of here.

Our heroes head out of the theater.

End of Chapter 5

These types of chapters are always the hardest to write. They always are because I go back and forth between the post and our heroes' reactions.


	7. Ch 6: Conclusion

Place and time: The Satellite of Degenerates on the morning of July 12th

Our heroes are outside the theater.

**Hunter: **What do you say we contact Vince and see if we can get unmixed?

**Bret: **Good call.

They enter the den and stand in front of the television screen.

**Bret: **Vince…

Vince appears. He's kneeling.

**Vince: **Oh, you guys are finished.

**Shawn: **Like you didn't know.

**Vince: **I've been busy trying to get the transporter fixed.

**Sean: **And then you can fix us?

**Shane: **(the camera focuses on him) And me.

Our heroes snicker a little.

**Shane: **Go ahead laugh.

**Vince: **(camera refocuses on him) I certainly laughed plenty when I read the fan fic you just finished. So Shawn, do you still trust Hunter?

**Shawn: **Of course. It was just a fan fic. Hunter would never betray me.

**Vince: **Hunter…

**Hunter: **I would never intentionally betray Shawn's trust.

**Vince: **Time will tell won't it.

**Shane:** (changing the subject)Dad, the technicians believe they fixed the transporter.

**Vince: **Very good. Why don't you test it?

Shane's body walks behind Shane and Vince. The technicians begin to strap it down. Shane takes a deep breath and sits in the transporter. The technicians strap him in too. Once Shane and the woman with whom he switched bodies with were secure, Vince took out his controller.

**Vince: **I'm going to beam you right into the control booth. Then, you can come out and tell me if it worked.

Shane nods and Vince presses a button. Shane and the woman in his body break up into millions of molecules and disappear.

Vince and our heroes wait.

**Sean: **Did it work? Did it work?

They all wait a moment more and then Shane's body and the woman's body enter.

**Vince:** Well, son…

**Shane: **(the woman opens her mouth, the voice is high pitched) It didn't work.

Our heroes break into laughter.

**Hunter: **I see Shane that you still know what it means to be a woman.

**Shawn: **And your new voice matches your appearance.

**Shane: **This is not funny.

**Sean: **Actually, it's very funny.

**Bret: **(becomes serious) Actually, it's not that funny. We're still stuck in the wrong bodies.

**Vince: **I will continue to have my people work on the transporter.

**Bret: **Until then…

**Shawn: **I'm stuck wearing flannel and heavy metal t-shirts.

**Bret: **I'm not looking forward to seeing your clothes closet either.

Our heroes attention is diverted when they hear something enter the den. It's Serpentina and she approaches our heroes.

**Hunter: **Your girlfriend's here, Kid.

However, as Serpentina comes over to the group, she looks only at Hunter.

**Hunter: **Okay…hi…(pointing at Sean) Sean's right there.

Serpentina continues to focus only on Hunter and starts moving uncomfortably close to him.

**Hunter: **Kid…

**Sean: **(covers his mouth with his hand to try to hold back his laughter) Hunter, I'm afraid that Serpentina has room in her programming for only one man…and since you're in my body…

**Hunter: **Oh God…(Serpentina is almost touching Hunter's chest) Kid, what do I do?

**Sean: **She likes it if you talk sweetly to her.

**Hunter: **Kid!

**Shawn: **(to Bret) I think this is a good time to say good night …or is it good day?

**Bret: **(to the camera) Bye for now.

**Sean: **(interrupting Shawn and Bret's goodbyes) So if Hunter has my problems, does this mean I get his room?

**Hunter: **Not on your life.

The End

Yeah, done. I only started this story back in the summer. I've just had a lot going on.

I do want to thank everyone who has enjoyed my writings. Your feedback means so much to me.

There are more writings to come.


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